Thursday, March 1, 2012

Tangerines, Balloons, and Missions

What does it mean to be a missionary and a mom? What does that look like in my life? Are there days when I am one or the other, or do the two run together and blend like yellow and red becoming the color of tangerines?

My desire is for my kids to treasure the values that we pass on to them, while catching the vision too for evangelism and mercy ministry. This means including them in our work as much as possible. We do this by sharing with our boys about what we do, having them join us in prayer, and sometimes bringing them along on different projects (their favorite part!)

A few summers ago I was thrilled that my then 6-year old was joining us to do a village kids' club program. He couldn't contain his excitement, sitting in the back seat of our mission's van, as we bounced down deeply-rutted remote roads. The back of the vehicle was packed to overflowing with puppets, prizes, a limbo stick, and a helium tank for balloons.

We pulled up to the village school and 100 smiling kids of all ages surrounded our van. My son helped us unpack all our stuff into the school's gymnasium. He soon found some other boys that rivaled him in exuberance, and they began to run around the gym together.

Content that my son was enjoying himself and participating, in his own way, in our project, I busied myself with setting up. We began our program and shared with the kids about how each person is special and valuable. We talked about respecting one another, regardless of physical appearance or mental ability. I was very busy leading the program and organizing the puppets, but I could see my son out of the corner of my eye and knew that he was OK. We had a rousing game of limbo, followed by a question and answer time, that soon grew chaotic. For every correct answer to one of our questions, a child earned a balloon. My fellow missionaries worked quickly to fill up the red, yellow, and green balloons with helium to meet the demand. Soon we ran out of balloons and passed out candy until our bags were empty.

As the pandemonium died down, I felt a tap on my shoulder. "Your son is crying." A young girl pointed to the corner of the room. Alarmed, I hurried over and saw my son, turned toward the wall, sobbing.

"What is it? What happened?" I asked. Had he been wounded?

My son turned his wet face toward me. "I knew all the answers," he said, tears dripping off his chin, "and had my hand up the whole time, and you never picked me. I wanted a balloon too."

Suddenly I had a flashback of 3rd grade. I saw myself raising my hand and waving it for every question, and hearing the teacher say, "does anyone OTHER THAN ERIN know the answer?" I was crushed. After a while, I just stopped raising my hand at all.

"I'm so sorry," I said. "You're right. I should've picked you."

I hugged him and dried his tears. He quickly forgot his misfortune and ran off to play. But I didn't forget. What a lesson I had learned!

As much as I want my son to be a member of our team, and participate in our projects, he is first and foremost a little boy. A little boy who wanted a balloon.

As I navigate this adventuresome life of being a mom and a missionary, I am still learning. Learning how to balance. Learning how to blend the right proportions of reds and yellows in life. As I reach out to others, I hold my own little ones closest to me.With God's grace, He is teaching me how I can share His love with others, while keeping my own children my main mission.

3 comments:

Jon Davis Jr. said...

This post made me remember immediately a lesson I had been learning a few years ago about first being a child of God and only then being a worker in the Kingdom.

If a Missionary Mom feels this way when here little boy needs to be loved just as a little boy and not only as a worker, how much more would God feel that way towards His children who are working for Him?

Thanks for another inspiring story.

:-)

marthareineke said...

I feel the same way. Thanks be to God who has allowed us both to be mothers of some very wonderful children. May we always be counted worthy of such a high calling! Thanks Erin! Prayers for you and your family today.

Kara said...

I just discovered your blog through Ashley's Missionary Mom blog roll. And it's great to read how God has called you and blessed you!

I'm very interested to learn how YWAM Perm started the hospice ministry. I don't even know the word in Russian. I'd love a detailed description (in Russian or English) of what you do and how you got in the door!

You can email me at kara.coe@promail.ru